As far back as anthropologists can trace civilization, humans have recognized a death with a ritual or ceremony. In some cultures funerals were large gatherings with uninhibited, public displays of
grief; mourners tore their clothes or even injured themselves to demonstrate their emotional pain. In others the dead were buried with their favorite belongings to comfort them in a next world. Every culture and civilization attends
to the proper care of their dead. Every culture and civilization ever studied has three things in common:
- Some type of funeral rites, rituals, and ceremonies
- A sacred place for the dead
- Some form of memorilization of the dead.
Today, of course, people all over
the world still commemorate their loved ones with ceremonies that reflect their religious or cultural attitudes toward death.
You might wonder why funerals are so important that virtually every culture has them
in one form or another. There are several reasons.
Just as we have rituals for other passages of life, such as graduations and weddings, we need a ritual for death -- one of the most significant of all
passages. Funerals don't just recognize that a life was was lived. They offer survivors a chance to gather and recall what mattered to them about the deceased's life: his or her accomplishments, friendship, guidance or love.
The funeral ritual also helps the survivors to heal emotionally. When someone we love dies, we experience grief, which, though it hurts, is not something to avoid. Grief is part of the healing process
that allows us to separate ourselves from the deceased person and go on with our lives.
An important step in grieving is expressing the emotions that may accompany death: anger, guilt, fear, sorrow and depression.
A funeral gives mourners a place to express those feelings. Funerals stimulate mourners to talk about the deceased, one of the first steps toward accepting the death. The funeral brings together a community of mourners who,
by supporting each other, can help themselves through a difficult period.
For thousands of years, funerals have allowed survivors to express their feelings about the death of someone they love. According to noted
grief educator Alan Wolfelt, the funeral ceremony:
- Helps us acknowledge that someone we love has died.
- Allows us to say goodbye.
- Gives us a time with family and friends to share memories.
- Affirms the worth of their relationship with the person who has died.
- Provides a safe place to express our feelings of loss.
- Provides a social system.
- Allows us to contemplate the meaning of life and death.
- Offers continuity and hope for the living.
Meaningful funeral ceremonies are rites of passage. They help us move from life before a death to life after a death. Another way to think of the funeral is as a final tribute to the person who died. When mere words are inadequate, many people
find the ritual of a ceremony healing. How a body is cared for after a death is an important decision. |
